Walking around with a tack in your shoes
Word count: 1,146
In my 25 years of drawing breath on this earth, I’ve had to deal with a lot of personal struggles just like you and every other human being to ever exist. However, you’ll notice that I’ve been very cautious about the type of information that I divulge about myself and for a good reason too. It’s simply because I don’t ever want my stories to overshadow my message.
When I first started blogging, I felt like there would be a disconnect with my audience if I didn’t reveal my deepest darkest secrets so to speak. And, to keep it real, I was actually very insecure about this for a while because I felt as though you guys might start to think that I’m a fraud or “inauthentic”, but then I just stopped giving a damn and started writing more.
I also applied Charlamagne’s principle on “the rule of 10”. That is: 3 people are going to love my product, 3 people will hate it and 4 people won’t even care. So, it’s safe to say that I’m no longer insecure about this issue anymore.
Nowadays, I tend to scrutinise my “stories” before putting them out there for the “3 people” that will love my stuff. However, if I conclude that the stories will take away from my message, or worse, create a “pity-party” I keep them to myself. At the end of the day, if you’re on this website, you’re here for 1 of 3 things: advice, laughter or to hate on me.
Here’s how I see it: I’m here to offer practical solutions, not to depress you with some sob stories and for now, all you need to know is this: we all have to deal with tough times at some point in our lives! Some more than others because quite frankly, life doesn’t really give a damn about any of us. It doesn’t care if you’re black, white, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich, poor, old, young, physically abled or disabled…life will keep throwing shit at you because, once again, it really doesn’t give a damn about any of us!
Let this provide you with some comfort because whatever it is you’re going through right now, you are not alone on this journey. We all have to go through shit. It’s part of being human and it’s one of the things we all have in common. However, keep this in mind: I’m not here to steer you wrong.
“Our struggle(s) is one of the things we ALL have in common.
“Enough is enough!”
We’ve all heard the analogy about the dog that was crying and groaning because he was sat on a nail but, why wouldn’t he just get up? Well, that’s because he simply wasn’t hurting enough.
“Walking with a tack in your shoes” is quite similar to the above (and will be used as a metaphor for unhappiness) but, I think it’s time to say “enough is enough”. Don’t you agree?
How many of you try to fake apathy or pretend that you’re indifferent to the world where in reality, you’re just truly unhappy with yourself and, frustrated with how certain events have transpired in your life? I’ll gladly hold my hands up and confess to this but, I’m not here to compare struggles. Instead, let me tell you how I dealt with some of my issues:
I’m a highly calculated and strategic thinker who get extremely motivated at the prospect of accomplishing personal goals. I’m also a principled man and I enjoy scheming/strategising on how to accomplish my goals. Unfortunately, this is a gift and a curse.
I’m pretty confident in my abilities to accomplish any goal I set for myself so I’m not really accustomed to “failing” or familiar with “losing”. That said, my younger self would create the grandest visions (which is awesome by the way) as well as the plan and strategy to achieve them.
However, after being punched in the mouth by life a few times, I started to become toxic.
The above is a prologue for what I’d like to discuss with you
My frustrations and “failures” bred a lot of negativity into my life and it’s only in hindsight that I’m able to even make this assessment. At the time, I was set in my very rigid way of thinking. I really thought I knew best and that “my plans had 105% chance of success”. Even if they did, they were clearly not materialising in the ways I envisioned. Instead, I was rewarded with more disappointments, frustrations and unhappiness, disguised as indifference.
My younger self was in a lot of denial. He just kept masking, suppressing and dismissing any negative emotions rather than dealing with them in a healthy manner. Deep down, I was actually very unhappy that I wasn’t getting the results I wanted and it was affecting me in ways that I wasn’t able to correlate had I not taken some time to truly reflect. As soft as it sounds, I really had to spend some time with myself because, at some point, some of my actions started to affect my relationships.
As a grown man today, whenever I set goals or find myself doing something I don’t want, I try my hardest to get the bottom of “why” I’m doing it.
Please please please: do not underestimate the “why”. When you figure out the “why”, everything else will fall into place. In the least, it will guide you, and teach you where to start.
Trust me when I say this: asking “why” might just save your life. As a matter of fact, it saved me from a shitty job by giving me the courage to resign. I found myself questioning my reasons for continuing to work one of the worst employment after a few months of soul-crushing shifts. Want to know “why” I actually chose to resign in the end? Because I can. Nothing more, nothing less.
Funnily enough, “because I can” is enough reason. Sometimes in life, this is all you need to truly turn your situation around. Be unapologetic about it too!
Walking with a tack in your shoes but when do you say enough is enough?
Why do we feel like we can’t change our lives simply because we haven’t reached our breaking point or rock bottom quite yet?
Why do we feel the need to take permission from anyone before we can change and transcend our circumstances?
Why do we feel obligated to hold on to toxic relationships and do things we dislike just to please or impress others?
Why did I feel the need to adhere to a plan or goal that was set up by my younger self a year or four ago? Especially if the present me wouldn’t have agreed or strategised that way?
Remove the tacks in your shoes! Enough is enough!
(Share the damn post! Virtual roses are expensive you know. Damn! lol)
Bottom line: Stop dismissing or suppressing your emotions or risk it building up toxicity inside of you; question “why” you’re actually doing something, then change your circumstances if the reason is not good enough for you. No need to stick to a plan you made in the past that the present “you” will not back up.
Apparently “it’s lonely at the top”. I guess I’ll need some company when I get there. Come and join me. I dare you. That’s just my #2Cents.